Walk with Me
by wickedcajungrl
Summary: Eric and Sookie have been married several years and have a great life.  Tragedy strikes nearly breaking both of them. Will their relationship survive? AH
1. Chapter 1

**Characters do not belong to me.**

**EPOV**

"Eric! Oh my God! Harder! Fuck me…fuck me! Harder! Don't…you…ever…stop…fucking…me!" my gorgeous wife panted out as I was slamming into her over and over. Two thrusts later and she was cumming…hard and bringing me with her. I fell on top of her, keeping as much of my weight off of her as I could so I wouldn't crush her. I pushed some hair out of her face and kissed her. I rolled off of her and pulled her close to me.

All these years and Sookie was still the sexiest, most beautiful woman I'd ever met. She could turn me on just by walking into a room. It didn't even matter if she was wearing a baggy old t-shirt and sweat pants or a bra and panties. She was fucking hot. She is my best friend. She knows me better than anyone else just as I know her better than anyone else. And, she was amazing. I was convinced that she was some kind of super human. She could do it all. She was the best cook ever. She could sing and dance. She volunteered with the local food bank twice each week. She was the most amazing mother to our 3 year old son Ian. Always got up with him when he was a baby. I mean, I tried, but she usually beat me to it. All of this and she somehow managed to not only work, full time, in hotel sales and catering but to advance really quickly in the company she worked for. Yep, my wife was nothing short of remarkable. I loved her more than my own life and I did everything I could to take care of her and Ian. Our little family was happy and Sookie and I had even discussed expanding it. I couldn't wait to see her pregnant again. As beautiful as she is now, fuck! Pregnant Sookie just takes my breath away.

Sookie and I met at work nearly ten years ago. She had just started working as a guest service agent at the hotel's front desk and I was the Assistant Food & Beverage Manager. I remember going up to the desk to get some information on a guest room for a room service order and seeing the most beautiful young lady I ever laid eyes on. After I took care of the order and the desk quieted down a little, I came back to talk to her. I needed to get to know the new employees, right? I learned that she was in her first semester of college at Southeastern Louisiana University. She had just turned 18. At least she was legal. I was 25. I had my master's degree in Hotel, Restaurant, and Tourism from the University of New Orleans. I had been working my way through the hotel departments fairly quickly. I'd already put in my time at the front desk and housekeeping. My goal was to become General Manager before I was 30 and to one day open my own hotel. So far, I was on track.

Our schedules were pretty much the same. Since she was a student she mostly worked evening and night shifts. Since I was the _Assistant_ Food & Beverage manager, I got the evening and night shifts. We got to know each other over several months. She was dating some tool, named Bill she met in high school. He was majoring in computer programming at LSU. They had only dated for about 6 months before they went off to college. Sookie never said the word love when talking about the tool. But, she was unavailable…off the market….for now.

I had always enjoyed the company of women. Who was I kidding? I loved fucking. Not that I didn't date occasionally. I had had relationships that lasted a few months. A couple even lasted about a year. Mostly, though, I just didn't get all that attached to women. That probably had something to do with the women that seemed to throw themselves at me and offer to do all kinds of things just to 'keep me happy.' I enjoyed it, sure, but how could anyone possibly stay with a woman that you couldn't respect. But, that's pretty much the way it was for me. You could say that I used women and you'd be right, but they used me every bit as much. For sex. For money. For arm candy. To impress their parents with their good looking, well to do boyfriend. To impress their friends. None of them really gave a damn about me and honestly, that was fine with me. I wasn't really looking for anything serious. I was more interested in school and, later, my career. But, Sookie was a game changer. I fucked around while I was waiting, but I knew that once Sookie's relationship with Bill ran its course, I planned to make her mine.

Sookie's relationship with Bill was on the rocks by her 2nd month in college and it ended completely when Sookie surprised Bill at his frat house and walked in on him fucking some chick named Lorena that he had apparently been dating longer than he had been dating Sookie. She was pissed. She was hurt. But, she wasn't at all broken hearted. She called me that night on her way back from Baton Rouge asking me to meet her at the Brown Door for drinks. Of course I ditched the plans I had with my friends and met her. She was sitting at a booth in the back downing what looked like at least her 3rd drink when I got there. I slid in across from her. We spent the night talking. Well, she did most of the talking. I learned that night that drunk Sookie was very, very open. I found out more about her in that one night than I had in all of the conversations we'd had in the previous months.

From that one conversation I found out that Sookie's parents died when she was young. I knew that she and her brother Jason had lived with her grandmother until she came to college, but I hadn't learned the circumstances until that night. I learned that she had only dated 3 guys. A guy named John Quinn for like a month. I'm glad she didn't spend much time with him. I happened to know that asshole and if you think I was a womanizer, you should see him. He was usually running out of the door with the condom still on after sex. He really was a pig. A friend of her brother's named Hoyt. They were both pissed at her brother at the time and decided to date each other to get back at him. They ended up liking each other and decided to turn the pretend dating into real dating after Jason found out, but she said it really never worked out so after a couple of weeks they just agreed to go back to being friends. Then, Bill. I learned that in spite of her dating that ass clown Quinn and the tool that was Bill, she was still a virgin. I know she was only 18, but in this day and age and 18 year old virgin was a bit of a rarity.

In any case, that bit of information made me fall even harder for her. She respected herself enough to not hop into bed with every guy she met. She sort of viewed herself as some kind of mutant since she was the only person she knew her age that was still a virgin. I told her then that she wasn't a mutant. She was a wonderful and intelligent young woman that knew what she wanted, or in this case, what she didn't want. Anyway, she ended up so drunk that night that I drove her to my place since I didn't want her to get in trouble at her dorm. I wouldn't have been allowed in and I didn't know her roommate so I couldn't even call anyone to come get her. My place it was. I got her tucked into the spare bedroom, left some water and aspirin on the nightstand, along with a note telling her where she was so she wouldn't freak out waking up in an unfamiliar place and to make herself at home.

After that night, Sookie and I got even closer. I asked her on an official date the week before Christmas. We dated for nearly a year before our relationship turned physical. I know, I know. Hard to believe knowing what a horn dog I was, but Sookie was definitely worth it. I wasn't going to push that part of our relationship with her. Once we started that part of our relationship, I was sooooo fucking glad that I had waited. It was totally worth it. She was so passionate and every sound she made just turned me on. I was so honored that she wanted me to be her first (and only) that I did everything I could to make that night special and memorable for her. And, as an added bonus, once that first time happened, Sookie turned into a total sexual goddess when I was around. We couldn't get enough of each other.

The day she got her degree I asked her to marry me. We were married 3 months later in a small ceremony in the backyard of her grandmother's home with only family and a few friends. It was perfect for us. My family and friends loved Sookie. Mom damn near cried when she met her. She did cry when we told my parents we were getting married. We spent 2 weeks traveling through Europe for our honeymoon. Two years later we had Ian. Sookie's pregnancy just added a whole other level to our relationship that I wasn't even aware were missing. I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Seeing her belly growing round with my child…that was just the hottest fucking thing ever. Watching her deliver our son was just an incredibly life altering experience. Sookie worked so hard and was such a trooper. I was so proud of her.

When Ian came along we spent weekends doing family activities. Playing in the yard. We have hours and hours of video of us playing with baby Ian. Either Sookie or I or both of us would be silly and goofy just to make him laugh. His little baby laugh was just the cutest thing. He always laughed and was just the happiest baby we'd ever seen. We walked together through our neighborhood pushing Ian in his stroller nearly every day.

Here we were a little over three years after Ian came into our lives and everything was just perfect.

A few hours later I sat up in bed. I was momentarily confused. Something woke me up. I turned and realized that Sookie wasn't in bed.

"ERIC!" I heard Sookie scream for me. She sounded panicked. I ran out of our bedroom still naked from our earlier activities and found her in Ian's room. She was holding him and he was limp.

"Eric, he's burning up and he won't wake up! He won't wake up! Wake up baby! Mommy's got you. Come on little man, open your eyes for me. Please Ian, wake up for mommy."

I ran to get a cool washcloth and my cell phone. I ran back to Ian's room and we started trying cool him down by trickling cool water on him. Suddenly his little body started jerking around. He was having a seizure. I called 911 and the operator told me help was on the way. What felt like hours later, the ambulance finally arrived. By the time they arrived Sookie and I had each thrown on jeans and a shirt. We kept trying to cool Ian down and get him to talk to us, but nothing we tried worked. Sookie rode with him in the ambulance while I followed behind in the car. I was scared. My little boy was so limp and pale.

We finally got to the hospital and when I ran into the emergency department, Sookie was standing on the side by the door just looking towards the back where they had taken our son. She was sobbing. "Eric, they wouldn't let me go with me." I pulled her to me. I had never been the afraid in my life. I just held her.

About 20 minutes later a doctor came out to talk to us.

"Mr. and Mrs. Northman?" asked a tall, brunette woman wearing a white coat.

"Yes" we both said at the same time while jumping up.

"I'm Dr. Crane. Come, let's talk in the family room. It's more private." We followed her to the family room.

When we got into the family room, she closed the door and asked us to sit.

"Mr. and Mrs. Northman, we believe your son may have bacterial meningitis. We're starting him on a broad spectrum antibiotic until we can determine which strain of bacteria we're dealing with. The only way to test for this is by doing a lumbar puncture."

"A spinal tap?" I asked. "You want to do a spinal tap on my 3 year old son?"

"It's the only way to get the information we need to help him," Dr. Crane told us.

Sookie and I looked at each other and had one of those silent conversations people that know each other inside and out seemed to have.

"Do it," Sookie said to the doctor without taking her eyes off of me. Neither of us wanted to put Ian through this, but we knew we had to do everything we could to get him better.

"I don't understand, though," Sookie said. "Ian was perfectly fine when he went to bed. He was a little more tired than usual and he said his head hurt, but he wasn't fussy or anything."

"Bacterial meningitis typically comes on fast. You guys can come back and stay with him. You'll be able to stay with him during the procedure if you choose."

We followed her back to the room Ian was in. He was so small and he had all sorts of needles and tubes in him and he was hooked up to several machines. It broke my heart to see my little boy like that. I sat on one side of his bed and Sookie sat on the other. We each held one of his tiny hands in ours. We sat there quietly until the doctor came in to do the spinal tap. I had my arms around Sookie while we both stood next to Ian during the procedure. As much as I wanted my little boy to wake up, I was glad he was asleep during the spinal tap as I had heard that they were painful. Sookie had silent tears running down her face the whole time that needle was in our son's spine. Once the procedure was over and the doctor left the room, Sookie and I went back to our positions on either side of Ian.

Two hours later, Ian's fever was still high and he had another seizure. An hour after that he was no longer breathing on his own and had to be put on a ventilator. Two hours later Ian died in Sookie's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews, alerts, and favorites. Love to you all**

Walking out of that hospital without our son was, well, there are just no words. I was in a daze. The pain I was feeling couldn't be described. Sookie was devastated. The memory of her holding Ian's little body, singing softly to him, with silent tears running down her face as he slowly slipped away from us will always haunt me. I wasn't used to feeling so helpless, but there was literally nothing I could do to save my son.

Sookie and I drove home in complete silence. I'm sure we were both in shock. Just hours ago we were kissing our little boy and tucking him in for the night. Now we were faced with planning his funeral. We'd never watch him grow up. We'd never get to see him head off for his first day of school. He'd never get to play football or baseball. He'd never get to date or graduate or get married. Nothing. I felt hollow. When I drove into the driveway and parked, neither of us made a move to get out of the car. We just sat there quietly for a long while.

Finally, I got out and went around to open Sookie's door and helped her out. We went inside and just sat on the sofa. I realized that we needed to notify our families. I picked up the phone and called my parents. They were heartbroken and said they'd be right over. I called Sookie's Gran. They all arrived within the hour. There were hugs and tears and heartbreak all around. My brother and sister lived out of state, but took the first flights they could get to Louisiana.

I wanted to be strong for Sookie, but I just couldn't. I hurt every bit as much as she did. I didn't know how to comfort her when I needed comforting myself. Our families set up camp at our house and made calls and cooked and dealt with visitors. Neither Sookie, nor I could handle seeing anyone right now. She and I spent the most of the day either in our bedroom or in Ian's alternately crying or pissed off at God for having taken our son from us. We kept going over and over the previous day trying to think of anything we might have missed as a sign of illness.

Sookie sobbed "If I had been more attentive to him or called the doctor when he said his head hurt…something." She was blaming herself and it was absurd.

"Stop it Sookie! You are the best damn mother I've ever seen. No one would ever question your love for Ian. We both spent the whole day with him and neither of us suspected that he was sick. Don't you dare blame yourself! Don't you fucking dare!"

"I just…"

"No, Sookie."

An appointment was made for us to visit the….funeral…home for the following day to make arrangements for…

Sookie was quiet and didn't talk to anyone except me and that was only when we were alone in our room. But, by the next morning even that little bit of communication had all but stopped. We managed to take care of the funeral home business. Sookie had withdrawn completely into herself, but she and I were able to make very quick decisions as far as service, what casket, whatever the fuck else they asked us. While we weren't really talking to each other at that point, not because we were angry with one another, but more because we just didn't know how to deal with each other's grief along with our own, we did seem to have some unspoken agreement to just get this part over with.

The service was going to be in two days. We chose it to be small and private with only our families and closest friends in attendance.

When we got home, Sookie went straight up to our room and locked herself in our bathroom. I had followed her up to the bedroom and just collapsed on the bed. I could hear her sobbing in the bathroom. I got up and knocked on the door. I asked her to let me in. I needed to hold her. She didn't answer and she didn't open the door. She just kept sobbing. I stayed in the bedroom waiting for her to come out, listening to her cry just on the other side of that fucking door. After 30 minutes, I finally managed to bust the lock on the door. The sight of my wife in a heap on the floor crying and holding Ian's blanket and the bunny he took everywhere with him just brought me to my knees. I didn't have the strength to pick her up just then so I lay down next to her and put my arms around her and we both just cried until we fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

The next day was more of the same. People coming and going, people calling, offering sympathy or attempts at comfort. I wished they'd all just fucking go away. None of what they said were helping Sookie or me. And I swear if one more fucking person says something like "God has a plan" or "he's better off" or "he's at peace" or, my personal favorite, "you guys are young, you can have another child," I'll rip their hearts out through their chests. I get that these people _mean_ well, but they really need to think before they open their fucking mouths. Our only son was no longer able to walk or talk or fucking _breathe_. We would no longer be able to hug him or tuck him in at night. NOTHING anyone could tell us would make us feel better and honestly, I'd just rather them say nothing than to spout off all that clichéd bullshit

We didn't sleep the night before the service. The day of the service we somehow managed to get up and get dressed. Neither of us could eat anything. My parents drove us and Gran to the funeral home. When we got there we got out of the car and Sookie and I slowly walked into the building. We both stopped outside of the room in which our son was laying in a coffin. I had frozen in place. I couldn't go into that room. I couldn't say goodbye to my little boy. I just couldn't. Sookie, knowing exactly what I was feeling, turned to face me and took my hands into hers. She was the only one that knew just what to say to make me go in there.

"Our little boy needs his mommy and daddy to take care of this one last thing for him." She had tears in her eyes and she was shaking a little bit, but that woman, my wife, was the strongest, bravest woman I've ever known. We took a deep breath, turned to go in the room, and held hands as we walked into the room that held the body of our son. We went in before anyone else. We wanted some time alone to say our final goodbyes before the others were let in. Sookie and I slowly walked up to the front where the casket was. When we arrived there, we both leaned in to kiss him. We told him we loved him. I put his little blanket in with him and Sookie put in his bunny. We told him goodbye and we closed the casket. We didn't want anyone else to see him like this. We wanted everyone to remember him as the vital, energetic little boy that he was.

The service was short. Sookie and I purchased 3 plots in the cemetery near her Gran's house. The plots were next to where Sookie's parents were buried. Once we buried Ian, we went to Gran's for a short time where we both sat numbly and thanked people for coming. At some point I really just needed to get out of there so I went outside in the backyard and looked up as the last rays of sun dipped below the horizon.

I don't know how long I stood there.

"All that inane chatter in there is making me crazy."

I turned to see Sookie walking closer to me. "I am really fucking sick of hearing 'I'm so sorry,' and 'God has a plan.'" I smiled at how like minded we were. She continued "Fuck God's plan! If His Almighty grand master plan involved killing my baby and taking him away from parents and grandparents and others that love him, then fuck HIM and His stupid plan!"

I picked up from there "Or what about 'he's better off,' I nearly punched one of my dad's friends in his fat ugly face for saying that. How can a 3 year old boy be better off dead and away from two loving parents? What kind of person fucking says shit like that? Oh…how about 'you two are young and can have more kids?' My mom had to drag that bitch away from me. Do they even fucking think before they open their stupid fucking mouths?"

"I know, right? I have to question the type of people we associate with. Maybe we should ditch them all and find new people. Smarter people that wouldn't say such stupid things," she said.

We were both pacing and venting to each other. We spent the next 20 minutes being pissed off and blowing off steam. No one in that house could understand what the fuck either of us was feeling right now, with the exception of possibly Adele and even her situation was very different from ours. Yes, she lost both of her children, but they got to grow up and have families of their own. Is it fair? No. But this situation right here, only Sookie and I understood.

After we both yelled and screamed and cursed, we started chuckling at each other. And then we were holding each other and crying again. Once we pulled ourselves together again, we went back inside the house, thanked everyone again and I asked my father to drive us home. We appreciated everything that our families had done for us, but at this point, Sookie and I were ready to be alone in our home so we could try to come to terms with our lives now.

Sookie and I took the next week and a half off of work. We spent that time looking through photo albums, watching our home videos, talking about Ian, crying, yelling and laying spooned together on the sofa. We knew that we couldn't hole ourselves up in our house forever, but for a week and a half we just needed it.

I went back to work and had to deal with the sympathies and bullshit again when all I wanted to was to focus on my work. I had reached my goal of being a hotel general manager by the time I was 30. I liked my job, but it was demanding. I made the effort to be home every evening the first week or so back. But, I couldn't do it forever. By the 2nd week back at work I was back to going in early and having to stay late and deal with all the bullshit problems that came with running a hotel. I'd be at work at least 12 hours a day, sometimes longer. I called or texted Sookie a few times each day letting her know that I was thinking of her and checking to make sure she was okay.

Sookie had gone back to work at the same time I did. She mostly worked regular business hours, but she would stay late from time to time now that I was back to working late. She started sewing. I mean, she already knew how to sew, but she picked it up and worked on that every night when she got home. She would stay up late sewing shirts, dresses, pants, pillows, curtains, slip covers, aprons, and on and on. Four weeks later, she had filled up an entire room with the things that she'd made. She was exhausted. She was pale. She had lost weight. The stuff she made was beautiful and well made, but she was pushing herself too hard. It had been nearly 7 weeks since Ian's death and Sookie looked like death herself.

I decided I needed to take better care of Sookie. She was surprised when I came home at 5 o'clock one evening. I pulled into the driveway just after she did. I got out of my car and went to her swooping her off of her feet, making her giggle. God, how I've missed that sound. I deposited her on the kitchen counter, wrapped my arms around her and kissed the little spot under her ear that sent shivers through her.

"How come you're home so early?"

"I've just missed my beautiful wife." She smiled. I've missed seeing that smile, too.

"I thought I'd take you out for dinner this evening."

"Oh…umm I have a dress to finish and I told this girl at work that I would make her wedding dress. I need to get started on the design."

"Sookie Northman, you are going to dinner with your husband and that's final. You need to rest and take some time out for you…for us." I could see her getting angry and being TOLD what to do. Stubborn, stubborn woman. I knew I'd need to recover quickly. "Please, lover. I really need to spend some time with you." She softened at that and agreed to go to dinner.

I took her to a small Italian restaurant that we both liked. Once we had ordered we talked about our day and how things had been going in general. She looked so run down. I really wanted her to see a doctor. When I suggested it she was adamant that she was okay.

"Honestly, Eric, I'm fine. I mean, you're right that I need to take better care of myself. I know that, but it's just hard, you know. I used to pick Ian up after work and my evenings were filled taking care of him and now…well, I've got nothing."

I put my hand on top of hers on the table. "You can't think that way. I know it will take some time, but I just want you to find balance. I'm worried about you. I'm here for you. I know I've been working a lot, too, and I am working on changing that."

"I'll try," she said meekly.

And she did…for about 3 days. Then she started spiraling downward rapidly. Two weeks later we were arguing about how she needed to take care of herself better. Seriously, she was thin and pale and drawn and she wasn't eating. She was fucking up at work. She couldn't concentrate. I was suggesting for the hundredth time that she see a grief counselor. We could go together. I know that I could sure as fuck use some help with this. She was pissed.

"Eric, I don't need someone to tell me that I'm grieving. I don't fucking need someone to tell me that it will get better! What I need is my son back! Why the fuck can't anyone just get that?" She broke down into sobs and I was by her side instantly pulling her into my arms.

"Sookie, I want Ian back, too. God, what I wouldn't give to have him back. But, we have to find a way to live again. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you, too and I know I wouldn't survive that," I told her softly. She pulled back and wiped her eyes and looked down at the floor. She seemed to come to a decision a moment later when she sighed out "Okay. I'll call a therapist in the morning."

She leaned over and hugged me before standing up to go get ready for bed. She took two steps and fell over. I managed to catch her before she hit the floor. I picked her up bridal style and got her back to the sofa where I laid her down. Her eyes were closed. My heart was racing. This can't be happening.

"Sookie!"

Nothing.

"Lover, open your eyes for me please!" I was begging.

.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow! The first two chapters got to a lot of people. Thank you for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites. It really means a lot. Even if you are just telling me that you can't read anymore because of the nature of the story. It's been hard to read, I know. It was hard to write. But, better times are ahead for these two. I promise.**

**I also promise to put a warning if I write another really sad chapter. **

**I don't own these characters.**

* * *

><p>"Sookie!" I shouted again while caressing her face.<p>

"Why are you yelling?" Sookie whispered to me as her eyes fluttered open.

"Oh thank God!" I kissed her face over and over. "You passed out. I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Eric, no. I just stood up too fast and got a little dizzy. That's all."

"Bullshit. You lost consciousness."

"Please, Eric. No hospital. We were going to bed anyway. I'll sleep and I promise I will call the doctor in the morning."

"YOU. LOST. CONSCIOUSNESS. There is no way that I'm going to sleep knowing that you could be sick. I started to pick her up to take her to the car and she started screaming at me.

"No, Eric! I'm fine!" she screamed trying to wiggle out of my grip.

I put her back on the sofa, took her face in my hands and looked into her eyes. "Sookie, listen to me. I can't stand around doing nothing if there is even a chance that you are sick. You can't expect me to. I won't do it. If the roles were reversed, you would have had an ambulance here before my body hit the floor and you know it. Now, we can do this the easy way with me carrying you to the car and taking you to the hospital or the hard way with me calling 911. Which is it going to be?"

"Fine. I'll go," she said "for you."

I got us in the car and took off for the hospital. I must have asked her 20 times how she was feeling.

"Get a grip, Eric. I'm okay. I'm sure it's just stress or something."

Thankfully and unbelievably the Emergency Department wasn't busy when we arrived. Sookie checked in at the registration desk. They took her vitals and asked a few questions, slapped one of those hospital id bracelets on her wrist and told us to sit in the waiting room and someone would call her soon. Before we could even sit down, the doors opened and a nurse was calling for Sookie. We turned and followed the nurse to the back and into one of the exam rooms. The nurse asked Sookie a few questions.

"Mrs. Northman, has this happened before?"

"No. Well, I mean, I've gotten dizzy or felt light-headed in the past few weeks, but I haven't exactly been keeping up with a regular eating schedule and I just thought it was because I hadn't eaten," Sookie said and I felt myself get more worried, but also a little angry. She hadn't told me.

"Is there a reason you haven't been eating? Any nausea or vomiting?"

"We lost our son nearly two months ago and I guess I've just been trying to keep myself busy and I forget to eat. And, no. No nausea or vomiting," Sookie responded.

"When was your last menstrual cycle?" the nurse asked Sookie.

Sookie scrunched up her face like she was trying to remember. "I'm…not…sure. Eric hand me my purse." I handed it to her and she digs in it and pulls out a little pocket calendar. She opens it and flips through for a moment. When her hand goes up to her mouth and she let out a tiny gasp I was worried that something was really wrong.

Sookie turns to the nurse and says "April 3rd."

The nurse asks "Could you be pregnant?"

What was this? I watched Sookie, my heart beating out of my chest.

"That can't be it. We haven't been intimate in a couple of months. Since before…" she trailed off.

"Well, we'll do a pregnancy test just in case. Did you have any questions?"

"No."

"Okay, put the gown on. It opens to the back. The doctor will be in shortly," the nurse said and left the room.

I helped Sookie get undressed and get the hospital gown on. She got situated on the bed and sat back.

"Sookie, why didn't you tell me that you had been getting dizzy?"

"It wasn't a big deal, Eric. Like I said, I just haven't been keeping up with eating. It was probably just low blood sugar or something. There was no need to worry you."

The doctor came in a few minutes later. He asked all the same questions that the receptionist and the nurse asked. That shit is aggravating, but I'm sure there's a method to their madness. He ordered a butt load of blood work and left us in the room. Twenty minutes later someone came in and drew several vials of blood from Sookie. A little over an hour later the doctor came back in with a couple of the results.

"Alright, well the pregnancy test came back positive. Also, Mrs. Northman you are dangerously dehydrated and underweight. We need to get fluids into you immediately and I'd like to keep you at least over night to make sure we get that problem sorted out. I'm waiting for a couple more results, but basically I think you passed out because of a combination of dehydration, exhaustion, and pregnancy hormones. Did you have any questions?

"Pregnant?" Sookie asked looking absolutely horrified.

"Yes," the doctor answered.

"Is the baby okay?" I asked the doctor since Sookie seemed to be unable to say much of anything at the moment.

"That I can't say at the moment. Since your wife is so dangerously dehydrated and underweight it's possible that there could be complications. That's why we're going to put an IV in and start fluids immediately. I've paged the obstetrician on call and will have him come talk to you. He'll probably want to do some additional tests and possibly and ultrasound."

I nodded. Sookie stared at the wall.

"Thank you doctor," I said.

"Someone will be in here in a few minutes to start the IV. If you have any questions, have them page me," he told us as he left the room.

"Sookie."

She didn't respond to me

"Sookie, look at me," I said softly turning her face to look at me.

"Everything is going to be okay," I tell her.

"Eric, how can I have been pregnant all this time and not know it? I mean, I have to be at least, what? Seven or eight weeks along. We haven't had sex since before Ian…."

"Sookie, you've been grieving and going through so much stress."

"But, I don't think I can do this," she says with tears running slowly down her face.

"Shh, lover. We had been working on expanding our family before we lost Ian. I agree that this might not be the ideal time, but I see no reason why we can't have this baby."

"It feels like we're betraying Ian's memory."

"No, Sookie," I said pulling her to me. "Ian would have loved having a baby brother or sister. He would want us to love this little guy or girl every bit as much as we loved him. We aren't _replacing_ him. There is no way that we could ever replace him."

I held her as she cried. Then the guilt hit her. "Oh God, Eric! See I suck as a mother. I may have harmed this child by being so stupid and not taking better care of myself. I don't deserve to be a mother."

"Sookie stop it. You are an incredible mother. Our baby is going to be so lucky to have you as his or her mommy. You have been under incredible strain lately. The doctors and nurses are getting you all better and we'll go home and I'll drive you crazy with pampering you and taking care of you. Seriously, you'll want to throw things at me so I'll leave you alone." She giggled.

The nurse came in and started the IV. She told us that they ordered a tray of food for Sookie and it would be here soon. She said the obstetrician was on his way, too.

The tray came a few minutes later. Tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. I watched as Sookie slowly ate everything on her tray. I breathed a sigh of relief because I was sure that I was going to have to argue with her, but it looked like she was shaken up enough that she'd start taking better care of herself.

The obstetrician came in, asked the same fucking questions. Seriously, aggrafuckingvating. He looked over the results of the blood work. He said he wanted to get an ultrasound and 'see what we were dealing with here.'

A short time later, Sookie was wheeled to radiology for the ultrasound. I held her hand while we looked at the shadows and blobs on the screen. The doctor took pictures of all sorts of things that definitely were not the baby. He said that he was measuring Sookie's uterus and some other things. Then he adjusted the wand and walla there was Baby Northman. He or she looked like a little bean. I looked at Sookie and she had tears in her eyes again, but this time she was smiling.

"So, is the baby okay?" Sookie asked the doctor.

"So far, everything looks okay," he said taking a couple of pictures of Bean before shutting down the machine. "Now, Mrs. Northman, you really need to take better care of yourself. Everything looks okay right now, but I want you to get your weight back up and rest. I understand your recent loss has made you feel less like eating and you're probably having trouble sleeping, but you need to try to push through so you can give birth to a healthy baby."

"I'll do anything to make sure he or she is healthy, doctor. Thank you."

"And I will make sure my wife takes better care of herself.'

Sookie was wheeled back to the ER room. An hour later someone from the hospital's transport department wheeled Sookie, bed, IV, and all to the room she'd be in overnight. I followed them up. Once settled in her room and every freakin nurse on the floor came to take vitals, ask questions, and generally just get on our nerves, Sookie fell asleep. Two hours later, at 11pm a nurse tried to come in and take vitals during the shift change and I seriously lost my shit.

"Sir, I'm required to do vitals when I come on shift."

"And I'm telling you that if you so much as breathe hard in my wife's direction and wake her up I can't be held accountable for my actions. This is absurd! You people tell her that she needs to rest because she's exhausted, but you want to wake her up every 30 fucking minutes to check on her. Leave. My. Wife. Alone." I whisper yell.

"I'll need to tell my supervisor," she says in a huff.

"Oh do. Please do. I don't want anyone coming into this room again until at least 6AM. I will be here with her all night and if there is a problem, I will notify you."

The nurse left clearly unhappy with me. I could give a fuck less. It's fucking stupid to wake a patient up repeatedly when part of the reason their here is exhaustion. I quietly walk back over to the bed and make sure Sookie is still covered up. She is so fucking beautiful. I'm so relieved that she's alright. Still, I think we both need grief counseling so that this shit doesn't happen again. I make a mental note to make appointments with a grief counselor and Sookie's regular obstetrician in the morning.

A baby. I lay down on the sofa and thought about that. This is just such a surprise. Yes, we wanted more children. But since Ian left us, I don't think either of us even considered having another child any time soon. Now that it's happened, well, I can't say that I'm unhappy about it. In fact, while I know it's not the best timing in the world, I find that I'm a bit excited at the prospect of being a dad again. We were going to do it anyway. It just happened when we least expected it. And boy do I mean we didn't expect this. I wasn't kidding when I told Sookie that I was going to make her crazy with all of pampering I planned for her. I felt a little lighter than I had in weeks. Not 100% better. No where near that and probably never would be 100% again. But, a bit lighter. I drifted off to sleep actually looking forward to tomorrow.

* * *

><p><strong>See. Not so bad. I can't promise that there won't be issues for these two in the future, though. <strong>

**Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

Sookie ended up staying in the hospital for two nights. She was pissed. She argued with the doctors that she didn't need to be here and now that she knew what the problem was she could take care of it at home. She yelled at me for bringing her here in the first place. But, I was okay with her anger. I could handle pissed off Sookie. If she was pissed off, she was fighting back. She wasn't just living in the numb little world that she'd created for herself in the past several weeks where she'd just shrug at anything said to her. She was starting to care again. So, yes I was happy to see pissed off Sookie. As she yelled and argued I couldn't help but smile, which only pissed her off further.

"Stop laughing at me!" she yelled at me

"I'm not laughing at you, lover."

"Then stop smiling at me like I amuse you. It's irritating!"

"Yes, my love."

"Don't fucking patronize me, Eric!"

"Sookie, I'm just thrilled that you are fighting back again. That's all. For weeks you've been indifferent to everything and everyone around you," I lean in and kiss her and when she doesn't protest, I deepen the kiss. It's the most passionate we've been together in nearly 2 months. When I pull back we just look into each other's eyes. I can see the fire slowing building back in my wife's eyes. Yes, I can handle pissed off Sookie.

We had talked the day before about going to therapy. I made some phone calls and found a therapist that worked in both grief counseling and in couples' counseling and was highly regarded. While Sookie and I had never had any real issues in our relationship, we felt like something as devastating as the loss of a child could potentially drive a wedge between us and we both agreed that we should seek marriage counseling just as a precaution. I made appointments for us both separately and together beginning the Friday after Sookie was released from the hospital. I also managed to get her an appointment with her obstetrician for that same morning. At least we'd go into our weekend with some things sorted out.

The doctors discharged Sookie after the second night. We get home just after noon. I help Sookie walk from the car into the house and get her seated on the sofa.

"Would you like something to eat? Would you like me to put the television on?" I ask her.

"Actually, what I really want right now is a shower. I feel kind of scummy."

"Well, then let's get you up to the shower."

I help her up the stairs to our bathroom and I sit her on the counter. I start the shower and wait for it to heat up. I turn and begin to take off Sookie's dress.

"Eric, I can shower all by myself. I've done it before. I'm a big girl."

I take her chin in my hand and pull her face up so I can look into her beautiful eyes. "Lover, I know you can do this by yourself. I _want _to take care of you right now. I _need_ to take care of you." She looks at me for another long second and I finally say "Please." I don't know what it is inside me right now, but I really need to do this for her, for us. She gives me a slight nod and I carefully pull her dress off. I remove her bra and panties and then I quickly undress myself. I help Sookie into the shower and I follow in behind her. I watch for a moment as she lets the water run down her body with her eyes closed. I grab the soap and begin washing her. Once I lather up every bit of her gorgeous body I massage her shoulders eliciting a quiet moan from her. I work my way down her back before I help her rinse off. I grab the shampoo and pour a little bit into my hands. I rub the shampoo into her hair, gently massaging her scalp the way she likes. Her head falls back as she relaxes more. I carefully rinse out the shampoo from her hair and pull her to me, her back to my front. I wrap my arms around her and place kisses along her neck and shoulder. Sookie turns to face me and begins to lather me up. Huh. I didn't even notice her grab the soap. She spends quite some time lathering up my backside, which makes me chuckle. She's always had a fascination with my ass. She pays careful attention to my cock. Then she grabs the bottle of shampoo and asks me to bend so she can wash my hair. Instead, I go down on my knees. I want to worship this woman before me. As she washes my hair, I wrap my arms around her and place kisses along her abdomen and up to her breasts. Once my hair is rinsed, I turn off the water. I help her out of the shower. I quickly towel us both off and I carry her to our bed.

I lay her gently on the bed and I hover over her placing wet kisses from her jaw down to each foot, stopping to pay homage to each perfect breast along the way. I slowly kiss my way from her foot up to her center. My tongue darts out and quickly flicks her nub and her hips jerk up from the bed as she gasps. I use one of my hands to hold her firmly onto the bed and begin licking and sucking her little button in earnest. The sounds coming from Sookie spur me on. I slowly slide one finger into her hot, wet core and then another. Sookie is writhing and moaning my name. Fuck! She is so fucking sexy like this. I suck hard on her clit and she comes completely undone cumming harder than I ever remember.

I start kissing my way back up her body. She is still having little aftershocks as I position myself at her entrance. I look into her eyes to make sure that she still wants this and the heat in them tells me she does. I push myself into her slowly. To my surprise her walls starts clamping down around me immediately as she hits her next orgasm. I try to hold out. I grab her hips and adjust my angle and it prolongs her ecstasy. Oh my God! This woman is fucking incredible. It's been so long. My need for her overwhelms me and I forget all about trying to make this last as long as possible. I start pushing into her faster and she's meeting me thrust for thrust. Our eyes lock as we both reach our climax.

I nearly collapse on top of her. Despite having just showered, we're both sweaty and glistening. I pull her to me and she puts her head on my chest. We lay there quiet for a few minutes until our breathing evens out.

"I've missed you so much, Eric. I'm so sorry that I let things get so out of hand. I…I just don't know how to go back to the way we were before Ian came into our lives. I don't know how to be just me or just me and you anymore."

"I've missed you, too. I don't think I realized how much. I'm sorry I've left you alone. I don't really know how to go through this either and I have been handling it the best way that I can. But I never meant to leave you feeling like you were in this alone. I don't believe we will ever be able to go back to the way we were before Ian, and to be honest, I don't want us to. We just need to find a way to get through this and find happiness again. We'll never forget him. He'll always, always be in our hearts."

"Thank you."

"For what?" I ask.

"For loving me. For making me go to the hospital. For being so good to me. For marrying me. For putting up with me. The list goes on and on. You are the most amazing man and I don't tell you enough how much I love you and I don't show you enough how much I appreciate you."

"Yes, you do, lover. All the time."

We fell asleep in each other's arms. It felt like we were finally moving forward _together_.

The next morning I wake before Sookie. I'm spooned up behind her. I lay quietly because I don't want to wake her. She still needs a lot of rest. A short time later she begins to stir and starts wiggling her sweet bottom making it really…difficult not to attack her first thing in the morning.

"Good morning, lover. If you keep that up, I'm afraid I won't be able to be very gentlemanly."

"Who says I want a gentleman right now?"

I growled and pounced on her. An hour later we were finally rolling out of bed to start our day. She went to take a shower while I went down to make breakfast for the two of us. I called into work to make sure everything was running smoothly. I made a decision about work last night. I needed to discuss it with Sookie before doing anything, though. While I didn't mind pissed off Sookie, I didn't want her pissed off at me for making a huge decision without discussing it with her first.

Once Sookie came down freshly showered, wearing yoga pants and one of my t-shirts, her hair wet, we sat down for breakfast. I served both of our plates and poured us each some grape juice. After several bites and some light conversation I decided to dive right in.

"Sookie, I've decided to quit my job at the hotel."

"What? Why? You love that job!"

"No. I like that job. I love you. I want to spend more time with you for a while. I never planned on staying at the hotel forever. You know that. I've gone as far as I wanted there and I honestly feel like this is the right time to exit."

"Don't quit because of me, Eric. I won't let you."

"I'm not quitting because of you. Trust me on this. I'm quitting because this is the right time for me to quit. I want to spend time focusing on us." Sookie had stopped eating and had just gotten really quiet. I could see that she wasn't buying it. It was true, though. I had been looking into other ventures before Ian's death. I spent entirely too much time at work. I wanted to find something that would allow me more time at home with my family.

I put my fork down and took her hand in mine. "Sookie, look at me." I waited for her to bring her gaze to me.

"Sookie, I've talked to you about what my dreams and goals were many times since we met years ago. I've reached the goal I set for myself and now…I'm making new goals. I'm not saying that I won't work. I want to take a break, spend some time on us, and then start working towards a new career plan for myself. Am I doing this for you? Maybe a little bit. I won't lie to you. I never have. But, honestly, it's more for me. I have been thinking about this for almost a year. I've hated not being home more with you and Ian. I hated missing out on so much. I refuse to miss anymore. Now feels like the right time for me. The house and cars are completely paid off. We don't have any major bills. We have quite a bit in savings. Now is the right time."

I watched as Sookie processed all of this. Finally she took a deep breath and said "Okay, but you better not expect me to quit working."

"Well, of course I don't. You're going to be my sugar mama," I told her and she giggled. Whew. That went better than I thought it would. "But, Sookie, I also don't want you overworking yourself because you feel like you have to make up for my not working. Financially, we are phenomenal. Dare I say, we are…" I cupped my hand in front of my face and lowered my voice to a whisper, "r-i-c-h. But don't tell anyone. I wouldn't want our 'friends' to camp out on our doorstep waiting for a handout." Sookie giggled again.

"Okay, okay!" she gave in with a big smile.

We got up early Friday and went to the obstetrician. I stayed with Sookie for the exam and all of the tests and another ultrasound. The OB said everything looked good and would call us if the blood work showed any problems. She prescribed prenatal vitamins and sent us on our way with more pictures of Bean. We had decided not to tell anyone about the baby just yet. Frankly, we were still adjusting to it and were still dealing with Ian's death and, for the moment, we needed this just for ourselves. It was a little bit of happiness we were holding onto for our future. I'd leave it up to Sookie as to when we'd actually tell people, but I figured we'd have at least another month of keeping it to ourselves.

We left the OB's office shortly after 10. We were a little early for our 11am therapy appointment, but we decided to head over anyway. For some reason it just seemed like it was this scary thing looming over us and we wanted to get the first session over with so we would have more of an idea of what to expect.

We arrived at the therapist's office. It was located next to a small coffee shop. We grabbed coffees for each of us, decaf for her. Twenty minutes later we were walking into meet our therapist, Dr. Michael Miceli. His office was set up to be calming. You could hear water running somewhere, like a waterfall. I never actually saw water or speakers or anything, but I assume that it was for the calming effect and not because of broken we gave him the rundown of losing our son and how we each had been dealing with it. We told him about the current pregnancy and what a shock it was to both of us. After dealing with those issues, we told Miceli that we also wanted to make sure that our relationship didn't become a casualty of our grief. During that hour we both cried and we talked about how we felt we had failed as parents. We felt like we were failing each other. Miceli gave us some things to think about before our next session. He reassured us by telling us that everything we were feeling was normal for this situation. By the end of the hour it felt like Sookie and I had run through an emotional gauntlet and we were both exhausted, but were feeling somewhat more relaxed and relieved.

We stopped for lunch on the way home and we mostly ate in silence. Once we arrived home we went upstairs, got undressed, and curled up together for a much needed nap.


End file.
